Filled to be Emptied Again

"Filled to be emptied again"...I have adopted this quote as my mantra of motherhood, and being a wife and well I guess just life in general. Several times throughout my average week I hear words from friends, family and sometimes random strangers like, "Wow you have your hands full!", "Are they all yours?", "Don't you think you should slow down a bit?", "Don't spread yourself too thin.", "You are like supermom!", "You want more kids?!", "How do you have time for yourself?" and I could go on and on. I can only imagine what is truly going through these peoples minds...pretty sure a lot of the time they think I am crazy. :) (And sometimes that statement proves to be true.)

No matter the comments, good or bad, I know I was called to be a mother. Not just any mother, but a mom to many. When becoming a mom priorities shift. Your everday life is no longer about #1, but about your children. Motherhood has grown me so much in how to be selfless instead of self seeking. Being that our little family of 3 expanded to a family of 5 in a matter of 4 short months, I had to quickly readjust my views on the day to day expectations of being a mom. How could I care for 3 children as well as I cared for one? There is only one me and my engery levels and patience are not always what they should be. I was terrified before Kade came about how our family was going to adjust. Let me just say, it has been a beautiful transition. Quickly after he was born I was completely drained by the end of the day, sometimes by lunch. Day after day this really wore on me until one afternoon God put the lyrics of a sweet, sweet song into my mind.....

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

 

Perspective. That is all I needed to know that what I was called to and what I was doing was pleasing to Him. This song brought me such joy in knowing that through me being emptied I was doing something right. I was giving everything I could to love these kids and my husband and sow the seeds God entrusted to me. Each day when I am feeling drained I look to Him and he fills me again and again. I know my days are meaningful because I am living out His plan for my life and I hope I am emptied every. single. day. until I am resting in His merciful arms.

 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -

Psalm 73:26

Debriefing from Created for Care

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to join 450 other adoptive mamas at a yearly retreat called Created for Care. The retreat was held at Lake Lanier Lodge just outside of Atlanta and my, oh my, it was beautiful. The whole resort was just amazing. I told Trey that we're going to take a trip there on our next anniversary.

 

I drove down to the retreat with two of my close friends, Chelsie and Lacie. We met our roommate, Tonya there. Tonya runs the Give1Save1 Asia page and we've been facebook friends for quite some time. It was super cool meeting women who I only knew through the Internet and now we're real life friends. :) Technology still surprises me.

Any who, the weekend was filled with breakout sessions, worship, fellowship, lectures, learning and lots of food. I got to choose 3 sessions based on my preference. The first one I went to was all about having a big family. The two women who led the session had 15 children between the two of them. They talked about organization with a big family, how to make each child feel special and one mom shared her experiences with homeschooling a large family. I really enjoyed hearing their stories and their hearts for their kids. I don't know that we will ever have that many children, but at times I can imagine us having 5 or more children.

The other sessions I went to were The Connected Mom and Foster Care in the US. The Connected Mom was very refreshing! It gave me a new perspective on my relationship with my heavenly father. It reminded me that he established that connection for me and no matter what I do or don't do it will never weaken or strengthen that connection. It is always there. It relieved a lot of pressure and guilt about having a specific quiet time everyday. Because to be honest with 3 little people it is hard to do it everyday. Instead I was encouraged to just enjoy my time with Him throughout my day, in prayer and constant conversation with Him. The Foster Care class was good too. It really encouraged me to love not only on the children, but also on the social workers. They have such a hard workload and even though we may not always feel they are doing whats best for specific children, we need to show them grace and support. I was also so impressed at the way others in the group had gotten their churches involved in foster care. Where the church was a support for the foster care system by offering to host informational foster classes for their congregation, praying for the children and workers and also by providing necessary supplies to children who were coming into the system with nothing. It gave me a lot to think about and I can only hope to see SC move toward those goals as well.

My absolute favorite thing of the weekend was Date with God. I really don't know how to explain it other than that God met me there in that room. The Date with God room was composed of several different stations where you could do different actions. They had a blessing station where you could receive a prayer blessing, a prayer request wall, a Bible reading station, a tent with blankets and pillows to rest and listen to Him speak to you, and several others. The station I connected most with was the world map station. They had maps on the wall and a large map on the floor. The idea was to come and pray over your country and your childs country. I sat on the floor right in front of Congo. As I began praying for Cora's country I got very emotional. I prayed for our agency, our lawyer, the country officials, hope for the country, the children of Congo and their futures. After several minutes of praying I began praying specifically for Cora. I don't know how to explain it, but it's as if the whole room melted away and I was holding my baby girl. I was holding and loving Cora as the Lord was holding and loving me. I still can't talk about this without crying. It was the most beautiful, intimate experience I've ever had in his presence. My God knew I needed that connection with Him and my little girl. I had been feeling so disconnected from Cora since our adoption was put on hold and this time together gave me a new hope and urgency to pray her home.

The weekend was beyond everything I had expected. There is just something amazing about being together with 450 other moms who share your heart for the orphan. I am already counting down until next year!

Don't Let Money Stop You

When talking about adoption one of the biggest hurdles families face before they dive in is money.

Where is the money going to come from? Not a lot of people have 10-40thousand dollars sitting in their bank account and I want you to know thats ok!! You do not have to be rich to adopt. You just need a desire to bring a child into your home and the rest will follow.

How much does adoption cost? It really depends on the type of adoption you choose. Our domestic newborn adoption for Kade cost us $13,455. An adoption from Congo is going to average us about $28,000. The adoption of our foster son is going to cost absolutely nothing because if you did not already know, adoption through foster care is FREE!! See, there are a variety of budgets in the adoption world so you have the choice to decide which route is best for your family financially.

For us we did a lot of fundraisers. We sold items on craigslist, hosted several garage sales, pancake breakfasts, dog washes and raffles. Get creative with it and have fun. The more creative you are the more people will want to get involved and help out! We also used our income tax returns, our savings and sold one of our vehichles. Another big contributor for us was through applying for adoption grants. We applied to 12 grant organizations and were awarded 4 different grants totalling $13,500! That was completely worth spending 30 minutes on a grant application.

No matter the cost of the adoption it is doable! There are many that have gone before you who would love to offer assistance and guidance. Don't hesitate to ask if you want to talk more!!

Here are two current examples of families getting creative. Check them out and give a dollor or two to encourage them in their wait!

1. My friend Lindsy is also adopting from Congo. She has a crazy cool story and an even cooler fundraiser to go along with it. Check it out HERE. Beware: it's a bit hairy!

2. Angie is a mama of three boys and is bringing home 2 more boys from China! Check out their weekly fundraiser HERE. Also check out their super creative video!

Get creative and get your adoption wheels rolling!! Too many kiddos are waiting in limbo while you are worried about money. Just have faith and jump in! I promise they are worth it!!

Congo

CONGO.

 If you asked me what came to mind when I heard this word a year ago, I would say words like this....hope, love, misfortune, tragedy, adoption, family, orphan no more, excitement, anticipation, redemption.

If you ask me what comes to mind today, my answers are much different. My words are more harsh, more raw. My words are...greed, corruption, loss, grief, anxiety, anger, impatience, harvesting, unstable, hopeless.

It is amazing what a difference a year can make in someones view points. There has been one thing after another happen with Congo and our case since we started. We sensed things were starting to spiral downward this past fall. We received our referral in May and were making progress at a snails pace. We were still hopeful that things would speed up and we'd be traveling this Spring. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Since being in the program we have absolutely fallen in love with this country and all the hardships it has endured. I have spent hours upon hours researching Congo and talking with other adoptive families who have gone before me and who follow behind me.  The one theme that riddles this country up and down is CORRUPTION. In the poorest nation in the world these people have to fight to survive. They see an opportunity to profit and they grab it, even if it's to the disadvantage of children and their families.

I truly believe our agency is doing everything in their power to ensure an ethical adoption, but in this country it is hard to do. I can not share many details at this point, but as of late November our adoption was put on hold...not by our choice.  There were some questionable events surrounding some other children at Cora's orphanage and it has caused a  large investigation into each childs file.  We do not know how long this will take, but we do know there is a large possibility Cora's file is swept up in the unfortunate greed of her caretakers. We are still hoping to bring this beautiful girl into our family, but at the moment our hope is dim.

With all the events surrounding our case and a number of other issues with Congo there have been several families leave our agencies Congo program. I am hopeful for these families and their new journeys God is leading them on, but I am disheartened by the events also and feeling a pull to do the same. For now we will wait a while longer and pray for clarity. Most of all, I pray for Cora. I pray that she be exactly where God intends her to be, whether that be with our family or in her home country.

It is with a heavy heart I write this post. Please pray for this country that is so dear to our hearts. Pray for restoration and hope for the true orphans of DRC.

Adoption FInalization

It's official!! Kade is a Phillips!!

On December 14th were celebrating at the court house downtown Charleston.  Judge Cate deemed our family an appropriate fit for Kade and granted our adoption be finalized. We are over the moon excited!

Thank you to everyone who has prayed and supported us through Kades adoption. You will be seeing lots more of this little man in the future!

Kades Birth Story (Part 2)

Trey and I both spent the evening enjoying time with Kade and V. We were able to have him "room in" with us and not go to the nursery unless we asked for him to.  We got to all experience his first bath together and really spend time bonding over this new little life.

At about 9pm Trey went home to be with Kipton and the dogs for the night. I stayed in the room with V and Kade. The night was long but we made the best of it. I slept on the oh so comfy hospital couch and we put Kades bassinet in between the couch and V's bed. We took turns caring for him throughout the night.

 

Trey came back to the hospital the next morning and brought us breakfast. V had to have a procedure done that morning so she was out of the room for a few hours. Trey and I relished those first moments alone with our new son. It was nice to be able to just relax and be the three of us for a while. When V got back she took the afternoon to rest. Her family came later that day and had about a half hour alone with Kade.

After her family gave him lots of love the social worker arrived for V to sign the relinquishment papers. We took Kade down to the nursery to allow V and the social worker privacy.  I know in a lot of adoptions the adoptive parents have anxiety about the birth mom changing her mind, but I can honestly say I did not doubt V's decision.  I knew with everything in her she wanted to be able to parent her baby boy, but she also knew that was not the best option for herself or her baby.  We were only in the nursery for about 20minutes before the social worker came down to get us. She was all smiles and said "Congratulations Mom and Dad. You have a son!" Tears of joy just streamed down my face and Trey and I hugged for the longest time. It was the happiest most surreal moment.

Going back in V's room with Kade was difficult.  We knew emotions were high and we wanted to be sensitive in her time of loss. We went in and hugged but promised we weren't going to do the emotional thing then and we would wait for the big goodbye tomorrow at discharge. We spent the rest of the evening watching movies and chatting.  That night Trey and I decided to both go home to get one final nights rest.

The next morning we got to the hospital bright and early to pick up Kade from the nursery. We spent some time alone together in the nursery before we made our way down to V's hospital room. That morning was full of goodbyes and lots of emotions. We gave V a charm bracelet with Kade's name on it, his birth stone and a hand stamped charm that said "always in my heart".  We promised her to love and take care of her son and Trey let her know that this was only the beginning of our relationship.

After V was discharged we had a few hours before our lawyer came to meet us for our discharge. When she arrived we had some papers to sign and were given instructions on the next steps. Once we were given the all clear to leave the hospital there was no looking back. We buckled Kade into his car seat, Trey pulled the van around and we were off to introduce Kade to his new brothers.

The overall hospital experience could not have gone more smoothly than it did. The Lord definitely had his hand in this final part of our adoption. I can not wait to share with you as this boy grows. He is a handsome little guy.

Kades Birth Story (Part 1)

It was a Friday afternoon just 3 days before V's due date.  Kipton and I had just gotten home after a morning play date with friends from our MOPS group. I heard my phone ringing as I was busy changing his diaper before laying him down for a nap. I'll call whoever it is right back, I thought.  After Kipton was snug in his bed, I checked my phone to see a missed call from V. I immediately got excited but brushed it off thinking this wouldn't be THE call.

I dialed her number back and she answered so calmly. I asked if she had called and she said "Yeah, my water just broke." (AHHH!!!) My response was...are you serious?! I was so excited.  After my nerves calmed down I told her we'd meet her at the hospital soon.  Next, I called Trey to tell him to rush home from work and then called my mom to come sit with Kipton while he napped then take him to her house.

I was rushing around the house making sure we had everything in our hospital bag, making sure all of Kiptons things were together for my mom and taking care of the dogs before we left. Once Trey and my mom got to the house we were on our way! The drive to the hospital was busy.  We were both  calling and texting everyone we knew letting them know that the time had come. When we were almost to the hospital we just looked at each other and realized that our baby was coming. This was it!

At the hospital, we parked the car in the garage and entered the elevator to the hospital.  I remember being so excited I told the people on the elevator we were there to have a baby. They looked at us a little funny and then I realized they were looking for a pregnant belly. Trey explained we were adopting and they didn't look so puzzled anymore. They both congratulated us and wished us luck and with that we were off to the labor and delivery floor.

When we got to the room V was there with a friend.  She was getting her IV and they were doing the final paperwork for check in. She looked great. We could tell she was uncomfortable but she was handling it so well. We talked about how she was feeling and how she absolutely hated needles. We all began taking bets as to when the little man would enter the world. (We were all way off!) Not long after we'd been there I got a text from a dear friend of mine, Adrienne. She was on the same floor of the hospital visiting friends who had a baby the day before.  I stepped out the room and met her by the nursery.  It was good to have a friend there to hug me and pray over me.  All the anxiety and nervousness melted away.  I was ready to experience the next few life changing days and be the support that V would need.

Back in the room V's friend was leaving and V was requesting her epidural. The epidural was probably the hardest part for her.  They poked her several times before they got it placed in the right spot.  It was very painful for her....and for my hands. ;) At 4 o'clock she was still only 3cm dilated. Shortly after 4 her mom and her sister arrived. To say the room was tense would be an understatement.  We did our best to be friendly and make the mood calm and relaxing for V. At 5pm the nurse came in the room to check on us and V said she was having a lot of pressure. The nurse checked her and suddenly told her not to move.  She called in the doctor and other labor and delivery team and within seconds the room was being transformed for V to start pushing.  V literally laughed Kade out.  Within 2 pushes our little man was out in the world.  Born at 5:22 pm on October 12th.  I had the privilege of being able to cut his umbilical cord before they put him on V's chest.



He was perfect. Clear lungs, loud curling cry, head full of jet black hair and the juiciest little lips you ever did see. After V held him and the nurse wiped him down, I was able to do skin to skin with him. We were so blessed to have an amazing nursing staff who treated us like his parents from the first second he was born.  I'm thankful to them for giving us that experience and for V to be so gracious to allow us to be present during his birth. I will always cherish those moments.

 

 

Our hospital stay... TO BE CONTINUED...

I'm Back

I am happy to say that I'm back in the blogging world!  The last couple months have been CRAZY and not having a home computer or internet has made it extremely difficult to update the blog. I appreciate all you sweet friends who have written me to check on our process and now I'm here to share whats the latest in our families journey.

1. Our DRC Adoption

The beginning of this month marked 6 months since we got our Congolese daughters referral. To be honest, I thought at this point we'd be getting ready to make travel plans to bring our girl home, but unfortunately that's just not how it's gone.  Currently, we are waiting on her birh certificate to be issued  and then our lawyer will be able to apply for the adoption judgement through the court.  Once this happens, she will officially be legally ours!! That day can not happen fast enough.  It is my prayer that we will pass court by the end of the year.

We haven't gotten an update on Cora since August. We are working with a third party service to arrange visits and regular updates.  They have visited her orphanage several times and have not been allowed by the orphanage staff to complete the visit.  We were told the situation was being worked on and our lawyer has gotten involved to help set up a successful visit.  As soon as we have new information directly pertaining to Cora I will update here.


2. Our Fundraising

On September 18th we reached the status of being fully funded for both adoptions!! PRAISE GOD!! We had applied for several grants and received the news on that day that Gift of Adoption had awarded us a $5000 grant! That grant along with a grant from Show Hope ($5000), a matching grant from Hand in Hand ($2500), lots of fundraising, sacrifice and hard work has brought us to the point of having enough to financially pay for our Congo adoption and our domestic adoption. That's roughly 43,000 dollars people!!!! Can you see how amazing our God is?! He is undoubtedly the father to the fatherless.  How blessed I am to be in the center of His will for these precious children.


3. Our Domestic Adoption

Introducing the newest Phillips....baby Kade.

Kade was born on October 12th at 5:22 in the afternoon.  He weighed 7lbs 10oz and was 18.5 inches long.  This little boy is a pure blessing and the past month has been a true testimony of our faith in this adoption...we have an amazing son who God specifically grafted into our family.  There are no words to describe the amazing reality of this redeeming story. I plan to do a post about his birth and our time in the hospital. Stay tuned for that post soon.

As you can see our adoption story is still unfolding and I am so thankful to have the means to share with you all again. It is good to be back!

I Asked For It

This post was written on July 5th. I am just now getting around to sharing it…

I asked for it. It’s all my fault; I’m not going to lie. I told God I was open to caring for all the children He had intended to bring into my home. I told Him it didn’t matter their story, their location, their agency, age, race or gender, I would be open to any child He specifically had in mind for our family. (Although in the back of my mind I was thinking he’d have a limit that was in line with mine….oh how God has a sense of humor.)

Today I’m mainly talking about our foster son, W. W came into our lives on a Friday afternoon. In a matter of 5 minutes, his worker marched him through our door, told me his name, gave me a small box of all his belongings, handed over our foster parent agreement and said her goodbyes. W came with his head down, eyes glued to his slow shuffling feet and hands tightly folded in front of him. He didn’t know anything about me, about our home or about his new “brother” who was overly eager to play immediately. This little boy had every right to be unsure because he’d just been uprooted from everything he’d ever known…again.
Prior to his arrival, I was preparing for an angry little boy with uncontrollable temper tantrums. Upon his arrival, I quickly learned of a little boy who’s never known a stable home and is desperate for attention and praise. Within 10 minutes after the worker left, I had a little boy whose charismatic personality was quickly surfacing with the help of hugs and a big boy cup of juice. By Friday evening, I learned W was incredibly smart, very observant, gentle, had great manners, was 100% potty trained (BONUS!) and absolutely soaked up every ounce of love, affection and positive praise he could get. I also knew that night that this was a very dangerous situation the Lord gave me because I was falling in love with this little boy who was already calling me Mommy and it hadn’t even been 24 hours.

Tomorrow will be a week we’ve had W. It has been a week of adjusting to being a mom to two boys who already fight like brothers. ;) I was really worried before we were placed with foster kids that I wouldn’t be able to love them as much as I love our biological son, Kipton. I can honestly say, this week the Lord has worked on my heart and made it so easy for me to have a deep and genuine love for W. I love him as if I would have birthed him. My heart hurts when he hurts, and I jump with joy when he is excited about something he accomplished. I love him and care for him as if he’s always been mine. It is so hard to think he could be taken from us at any time. I hate not having control or being able to protect him from every wrong and injustice in this world and broken system. My heart aches at not being able to love him forever and give him a stable home where he will know Jesus and the dynamics of a true family.

Today the Lord really opened my eyes to His vast love for me. I know I love W with a deep love, but that love and protection I desire for him is not even a fraction of the love my Savior has for all of His children. I can not even fathom that great love, but I am so thankful for it!! I am so thankful for Jesus’ model of love and kindness. It is with His love that I am able to give this sweet little boy everything I can. I am not guaranteed a certain amount of days with W, but each day I have I will show him how much Jesus loves him and how much he desires for him to have a relationship with him.

My heart may ache for this little boy, but when we say his nightly prayers and his sweet little 3 year voice echo’s mine it is all worth it…even if just for a little while. Thank you Jesus for our time with this sweet child.

Don’t forget this week is our featured week on Give1Save1! Head on over to check out their website then come back and donate to Kade and Cora’s adoption through our Paypal link to the left!!

Give1Save1 Week: Our Little Girl

***Forgive the blurred faces in the pictures. Due to privacy reasons I am not allowed to share Cora’s face just yet, but trust me, it’s beautiful!***

When most parents talk about their 3 year old girls they talk about how they love playing with their dolls, playing dress up, and getting spoiled like the sweet little princesses they are. This is how it should be. This is how I long to talk about our little girl. Instead, when I talk about our Cora I can’t tell you that she loves to be cuddled and spoiled or that she is learning to be tough because her little brothers are constantly rough housing with her. I can’t tell you what her favorite toys and games are or if she has a friend to play with and I can’t even tell you if she’s ever heard the name of Jesus. I hope one day to know everything about our little girl and be confident in the young lady she is, but right now I just can’t . And that is hard.

What I can tell you is this little tiny girl has captured our hearts. We know she lives in a very rough orphanage in the Congo’s capital city, Kinshasha. We know if she’s lucky she gets one meal a day. We know there are anywhere from 30-50 children living in this small, dirty orphanage that would not meet the most lenient standards in America. It is not a place anyone would want their child. With that many kids in the home, not enough supplies, clothes, beds, food/water and supervision there is lots of room for harm to come to Cora. In fact, she has already had a terrible incident that we just learned about. 

Cora and another child were playing near the kitchen area and she fell into a large pot over an open flame. Her poor little three year old self didn’t realize the dangers of getting too close to the large cooking pots. She was probably just wanting to be near the food to ensure she would get her one small meal that day. Cora suffered from a terrible burn all along her right arm. She was in desperate pain and had no mommy or daddy to snuggle her up and rush her to the ER. She was hurt and alone and crying out for relief. I am half a world away and the thought of this scenario playing out makes my stomach turn.  

I want to shout across the earth…WE ARE COMING FOR YOU! HOLD ON JUST A LITTLE LONGER SWEET CORA! We are coming.

If it were up to me, we’d be on a plane tomorrow to bring our daughter home. Unfortunately international adoption, well any adoption really, just isn’t that simple. We have several hurdles we have to jump over before we can bring her home. One of our biggest hurdles is the financial aspect of Cora’s adoption. We still owe about $5,000 in fees for just Cora’s adoption. Is this something you could help with? Could you partner with our family to help Cora come into her forever family? I know not everyone has a lot of money to spare, but everyone could spare just $1. Would you be willing to donate a dollar or more to help bring our little girl home?

If you feel a tug in your heart to help Cora come home, please donate through our paypal button to the left of the page or visit Give1Save1 between Aug 6th-12th. All donations go straight to the adoption fund, nothing else. Thank you so much for your willingness and support. Blessings from our family to yours!

Happy Birthday to My Husband!!!

Today is a day to celebrate the man that God chose especially for me. He is all the typical things you would normally say when talking highly of your spouse…a wonderful father, wonderful husband, lover and friend, but above all that he is the my hero and the man I adore having by my side.

Trey, my love, thank you for being an overcomer in life. Thank you for rising up from your not so ideal childhood and growing into the man of God that He desires you to be. Thank you for leading our family in faith. Thank you for being the best provider a family could ask for. Thank you for always having your priorities in line and putting your family above all other worldly distractions. Thank you for always taking the trash out and killing bugs on command. Thank you for being loyal, kind, compassionate and tender hearted. Thank you for being an example to our children of what a father and husband should be. Thank you for your patience and always finding teachable moments with our children. Thank you for letting me sleep in on the weekends. Thank you for allowing me to dream big dreams and never making my dreams feel impossible. Thank you for putting up with my womanly crazieness and still loving me through it all. Thank you for putting your macho manlieness aside and letting our family rock a mini-van. Thank you for always making my heart beat a little faster and always bringing a smile to my face. Most of all, thank you for taking a chance on love with the crazy seventeen year old version of myself. God bless your soul. You are truly a cut above the rest. I love you with everything I am. To the star and back 300 times, always and forever.

                                    

   Happy Birthday Trey!!!

Don't forget this is our featured week on Give1Save1! Head on over and check us out then come back to donate your dollar!

Give1Save1 Week: The Domestic Side of Adoption

A lot of you have been asking how our domestic adoption is going, so I’m here to fill you in.


It couldn’t be going any better. We have really befriended our sons birth mother and hold our relationship with her highly. We have had the priveledge to go with her to all her doctors appointments and participate in typical pregnancy related events, such as maternity shopping and having lunch while talking about cramps and nauseousness. It isn’t something I can really put into words. It’s very surreal to have all this contact with her because it’s so completely opposite from our Congolese adoption where we are really relying on a few precious pictures and an email that our daughter is ok. With domestic adoption we’re able to correspond with the doctors and nurses taking care of our sons birth mom and know exactly what she’s feeling at every moment. These times we’re spending together will be priceless in the future when Kade begins to ask about her.

Right now we are about 2 months away from Kade’s due date. His nursery is all set up, minus a few little things. Our plan when setting up his nursery was to make it a room that Kipton could move into once Cora was close to coming home. The room was originally a burnt orange and instead of repainting, we just picked a theme that would compliment the room colors. For the bedding I picked Zaire. I love all the different patterns and textures, it gives the room a really rich feel. Plus, I think it’s not too babyish and will be something the boys can grow with.

We bought a brown and ivory chevron run to go over the tile that is in the room. It’s so soft and will be a great spot for the boys to play with their toys.

We also bought a 7ft tall giraffe wall decal for the room. Our foster son thinks it’s the coolest thing ever.

I think the boys will love sharing a room, especially once they’re a little older. We’ve also started bringing down all the baby gear from the attic, the swing, boppy, toys, clothes, car seat, and bassinet. I’m trying to mentally prepare for the newborn stage again, but it’s a little difficult when I’m not actually experiencing the pregnancy. However, once he’s here and we’re getting minimal sleep I’m sure we’ll jump back into the hang of things. It will also be interesting to see how Kipton adjusts to being a big brother. I just can’t wait!

Here’s a picture of our little guy, Kade. This was from his ultrasound last week. Isn’t he a cutie?! I’m so looking forward to kissing his little brown cheeks!

Just a reminder....it's our Give1Save1 week!! Donate your dollar to get in on the action! Our total is climbing closer and closer to what we need to bring Kade and Cora home...won't you be a part of our featured week?! :)

Give1Save1 Week: Intro to Our Family

Hello all!! Some of you are new to our blog and are visiting us from the Give1Save1 Africa blog…welcome! We are so honored to be this weeks featured family. Let me give you the run down on our family and our adoptions…

 We are Trey and Ashton Phillips. We met in high school and were married just 5 months after graduation. We did the typical “American dream” thing, pursuing reputable jobs, the white picket fence, pretty cars, starting a little family, just trying to keep up with the Jones’. Then God rocked our world. He opened our eyes to the poor, the needy, the broken…the orphan. Once our eyes were opened there was no going back, we knew what we had an obligation to do. We had to begin living out our faith through works, not just words. For us, this came in the form of adoption.

Our adoption story has been a little crazy, but nothing short of miraculous. We began our adoption journey in Ethiopia then due to some doors closing God led us to the Democratic Republic of Congo. We were broken for the desperation of the people there. The 2nd poorest nation in the world, rampant with disease and corruption. It was in this destitute country that we knew we had a child. In May 2012, we were matched with a three year old orphan girl, Cora. The first pictures we saw of her only brought tears because you could see the sheer horror and sadness in her eyes. We knew she would be our daughter and soon she would be an orphan no more. Soon Cora will know the love of family and not feel the pangs of hunger and disease, soon Cora will be home.

When Cora comes home in the beginning of 2013, she will have two little brothers to love all over her. Our biological son, Kipton (18 months), and our soon to be adopted son, Kade (due this fall). Kade’s adoption came as a surprise. We did not intend on pursuing two concurrent adoptions. In fact, even the thought of that seemed ludicris, but we all know God’s plans are always better than we can imagine. When things were slow with our Congo adoption, we started entertaining the thought of starting a domestic adoption. We had the mindset that whatever happened first would be the path we’d take. Two months after we turned in our domestic portfolio we were matched with Cora. We immedeatly let our domestic agency know and told them to pull our portfolio. Despite closing the domestic door, God still worked his hand in the situation and had us presented to Kade’s birth mom. She chose us to raise her son because of the Christian values we lived by. I truly believe that as Christians if we are pro-life that we need to be willing to stand in the gap for the women who choose life for their babies. In this situation there was no way we could say no. With a simple yes and a phone chat with V, we were on our way to becoming parents to a newborn and a three year old in Congo all at the same time. Oh how great is our God?

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. -Galatians 6:9

Thank you so much for coming over to learn more about our family! I hope you’ll stick around and continue with us on our journey. Don’t forget to visit the Give1Save1  site and come back to donate your dollar. Every dollar counts toward bringing Cora and Kade home!

Also check out our adoption video... https://vimeo.com/43259092

And We're Back...

I have been a bit out of the bloggy loop latlely because being a mom to two little ones is much more time consuming than just one. (Yes, I said two…we have a foster son!) On top of my newly busy schedule, our computers wireless capabilities decided to bite the dust, so being connected to the internet has been a bit of a challenge.
I do have a couple of amazingly awesome tidbits to share…
1. We have obtained our first required piece of paper in Congo…our Consent To Adopt was issued on July 19th! YAY! Now we can move forward with the first judgement and 30 day wait period. Baby steps.
2. Our baby boy we’re adopting via domestic adoption is officially in the third trimester! Not much longer at all.
3. This is a biggie!! We have been selected to be the featured family on Give1Save1 Africa for the week of August 6th!! Super exciting!
What is Give1Save1 you ask? Well, let me tell you…

Give1Save1 was started on the premise of helping adopting families raise funds for their adoptions. The thought was not everyone has a lot of money to give away, but everyone can spare just one dollar. The week we will be featured, they will have a little write up about our family, pictures of us and an awesome video of our adoption story that our friends at Dreampop Media helped us create. Our hope is that everyone who views our video will donate $1 (or more) to help raise money to bring our kiddos home. Those dollars will add up. I mean if 15,000 people viewed our video and all gave just one dollar we would be fully funded!! What an amazing feeling that would be, knowing that your dollar went that far!
We’re also going to need your assistance in helping us get the video viral. We hope you’ll partner with us to share the video through facebook, twitter, youtube, your blog, your email lists, any way you can think of. We would appreciate your help more than you even know!
I’ll keep you updated as to any other progress we make and be looking out for more posts as we get closer to our Give1Save1 dates.

Ramblings

My mind is pretty much mush lately due to the complexities of being in the process of an international adoption and a domestic adoption at the same time. Plus, being a mom to a 16 month old boy and 4 dogs who do not have an off switch and attempting to be the best wife possible. All the while starting Jen Hatmaker’s book 7, which is making me increasingly cranky because we’re on month 1 and I LOVE food!!! So, please bear with me through this sporadic post.

-First off, I mentioned in a previous post that directors from our agency were traveling to DRC to sign an agreement with the country officials. They were also taking a care package to our little girl. Well, yesterday I was informed they were able to hand carry our dossier to Congo!! For any adoption newbie’s, the dossier is our whole life in papers. The stack is pretty much a mile high and had to be notarized, legalized, signed, stamped, etc. It’s a big deal!! Now they will translate our dossier into French (Congo’s official language) and it will await our court date.

-Speaking of court date…I have a big prayer. And I mean BIG! I’m praying that we pass court in Congo before our baby boy is born via domestic adoption. I’m praying this for a few reasons. 1) If we don’t pass court before he’s born, we’ll have to update our international home study. This comes with a hefty price tag of $1,350. (Yikes!) And would probably delay Cora coming home. 2) If we pass court before he’s born, the likelihood of Cora being home by Christmas is pretty good!! I would love to be a complete family in 2012. 3) We’ll still be eligible for the adoption tax credit if she comes home this year. If not, we lose any chance of getting the credit to help offset some of our expenses we’ve already paid out because the credit expires December 31, 2012. Please let this be your prayer as well. Pray that we pass court in Congo before the birth of our son.

-I mentioned we have a chance of missing the tax credit window. Even if we don’t miss it, we still have a long way to go financially before we can bring these kiddos home. We need at least $15,000 more to complete both adoptions. I have applied for a few grants recently and am anxiously awaiting the decisions. Please pray that there will be grants awarded in our favor. Pray for funds to be provided in miraculous ways. We have worked so hard thus far and the Lord has been faithful. I pray for his continued support and provisions.

-We are officially a licensed SC foster home! Our worked called today to tell me she received our license and was mailing it to us.

Our house will be full with pitter patters of little feet soon, so for now I’m going sit back and enjoy the quietness of being a family of three. It’s the calm before the storm, but I’m sure it will be the best storm of our lives.

God Threw Us A Curve Ball

Let me start from the very beginning. We started this adoption with all hopes to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia, as you all know that changed when Ethiopia abruptly changed their age guidelines. You can read about that here.

After the boot from Ethiopia we switched to our agencies extremely new Congo program. We loved our agency and the thought of a pilot program did not scare us in the least, until we really got into it. Once we were a part of the program things seemed to be at a complete standstill. There had been no referrals in months and the number of families in the program continued to grow. We began to worry, not necessarily questioning our call to adoption, but just wondering if Congo would come through.

In February, we attended a local adoption fair with friends of ours who were adopting domestically. There were lots of agencies, lawyers, and adoption support groups at the fair. It was a wonderful event and opened our eyes and hearts for all types of adoption…international, domestic and foster care. We began to pray about which direction was right for our family. We were so heavily invested in Congo and our hearts truly were in Africa, but did God have another plan for our family?

At the end of February, we decided to pursue a domestic adoption as well. Our thinking was that we would open up the doors to being matched with a local birthmom and still stay on the waiting list for a referral from Congo. Whichever match happened first is the one we would pursue. We compiled our family portfolio and dropped it off to the domestic agency with high hopes of being picked quickly. We didn’t hear of a single interest in 2 ½ months. As you probably know, on May 4th we got the call about a 3 year old little girl in Congo whose referral we accepted and are now in the process of preparing for court in Congo. Our adoption finally had a direction, a positive one, one that we were perfectly content pursuing. The Lord had been faithful and indeed led us to Congo.

Shortly after we accepted our daughter’s referral, I emailed our local domestic agency to let them know of our referral status and to pull our portfolio from being shown. I told her we were going to go full force with Congo and if it was God’s will we may come back to domestic later, much later. Whoops, let me back up a minute. I forgot to tell you I spoke with a lawyer the morning of May 4th (our Congo referral day) about putting our domestic portfolio with her office in hopes of getting more showings with birth moms. That conversation quickly went to the back of my mind because just hours later we got the call about our daughter.

Anyhow, on May 21st we got a call from the domestic agency. She told us that she knew we had a referral from Congo, but would like to show us to a mom who had just had a baby yesterday! What in the world?! I was in shock because to me domestic was already closed, but after talking with Trey and our international worker we decided to be shown. The mom didn’t pick us and that was a-ok. Back to just going with Congo…or not. Two days later I got another call. This time it was from the lawyer I’d spoken with the day of our referral. She had a mom in the hospital preparing to give birth and she wanted to make an adoption plan. She asked if we could send her some pictures and info because she wanted us to be considered. Oh. My. Word. What in the world was happening?! We hadn’t heard a thing in months and now we had two potential situations in one week. It was at that moment I felt like God was slapping me in the face and saying “Hello!!! Keep all the doors that I called you to open!”. We were shown to that mom as well, but were not picked.

In the next few days Trey and I decided to go with what we thought the Lord was yelling to us and keep our domestic possibilities open. We had a window of time that a match could happen or it would interfere with our Congolese adoption and we didn’t want that to be interrupted so we waited to see what would happen, if anything.

Last Friday, June 8th, exactly one month after we officially accepted the referral of our Congolese daughter, we got a call from the domestic lawyer. WE HAD BEEN MATCHED. A local mom pregnant with a bi-racial baby boy had chosen us! We had so many emotions running through us; joy, excitement, shock, thankfulness, and a little bit of “oh my goodness, we’ll have 3 kids in the next 8 months!”

So, I am overjoyed to announce that our family of 3 is expecting a baby boy Fall 2012 and a little girl Spring 2013!! From a family of 3 to 5 in less than a year! Oh, how His ways are so much greater than mine!!

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” -Isaiah 55:8-9

Thanks for coming along this journey with us as we expand our family.  I'll keep you updated on the progress of both adoptions as things move forward.  All glory to Him forever and ever.

Month 1: Our 1st Care Package

Our first care package and officially one month of having our referral...how exciting! Theres no big news to share other than we're being patient while our Power of Attorney and Consent to Adopt are being legalized by the DRC embassy in Washington and our lawyer in Congo is working on getting paperwork filed with the municipality to start or court process. So we wait patiently knowing that God has every detail under His control.

However, we did get some exciting news when we were told the two international directors from Lifeline would be traveling to Congo in June and had agreed to make room for a few care packages in their luggage. (YAY!!) They gave us one stipulation, the "package" had to be in a gallon sized ziploc bag!! How in the world was I going to fit everything I wanted to give our little girl in a ziploc bag?! It was tough and the bag was about to bust!!

 We sent her:

-2 dresses

-Headbands, Bows & Barrets

-Hello Kitty Chapstick

-Bracelets & Necklaces

-Stickers

-Soap

-Toothbrushes
-Toothpaste

-Mini lotions

-A Thirty-One Bag to carry her goodies in

-A Picture Clutch with pictures of us
-Pink Glow Seahorse

(Kipton has a blue one and doesn’t sleep without it. I wanted to get her a small baby doll, but when I saw the pink seahorse all I could picture was her holding it at night while it lit up the dark orphanage and played sweet music that would lull her to sleep. Bless. My. Soul. There were some tears in Target.)

                                     

 

There are about 30 children at her orphanage.  Most of the items I sent will become communal and thats A-ok with me...hopefully the boys dont have aversions to bows and costume jewelry. ;) I also wrote a note to the orphanage director (in French!) thanking her for caring for our little girl until we can bring her home.

I'm hoping they'll be able to get some more pictures and possibly even a video while they're visiting. Keep Lifeline in your prayers as these directors travel to extend Lifeline's care of the fatherless. One month down only 7-9 more to go....hopefully less!!!

Blogger Perks

When I started this blog, it was mainly to keep our family and friends updated on our adoption. I never anticipated that I would be so greatly blessed through sharing our simple story of faith for the fatherless.

Through blogging, I have met so many wonderful women who are also on the same adoption road. I am able to find encouragement when I’m down, have a group ready to cheer when we’ve gotten to a certain mile marker, have prayer warriors just one email away and be able to talk all things adoption 24/7 without being a complete bore. Adoptive mama’s are of a completely different caliber.

Today I thought I’d share a little love to my fellow Lifeline families. There is not an agency out there that is so committed to defending the fatherless as Lifeline. I have had my doubts throughout this process, but I know 150% that we are working with one of the most reputable, Christ centered agencies out there. The Lord is moving mountains through the staff and families of Lifeline. I am honored to be a part of such a wonderful group where the child comes first.


Lindsy was one of my first Lifeline family discoveries. She received her referral of her son the same day we did. She also has an adorable etsy shop!

Lori is currently waiting on a referral for up to 2 kids aged 3-7. She is a faith-filled mama and always has a positive word to say!

Leslie started an awesome adoption ministry through her church in AL and is also a foster parent to a six month old baby boy!

Erin is super sweet and is no newbie to adoption. Her patience in waiting for the children God has for her family is endearing and empowering. Check out her adoption t-shitrts!

Whitney is a momma of 3 and will be adding on 2 HIV+ kiddos from Congo.

Amanda is adopting a sibling set of 3 from an orphanage in Goma. She started a non-profit called Mercy’s Mission to support the children in Goma who weren’t adopted.

Jenni and I met by chance when I bought her triple stroller(!) off craigslist. She is adopting through Lifeline’s China program. I could go on and on all day about what an amazing woman, wife and mother she is! I know that our meeting was orchestrated by the Big Man and I look forward to growing in friendship with her and her faith filled family.


Ladies - I am so blessed to be able to share along your journey's. Thanks for all the kind words and constant support through this crazy roller coaster called adoption. We can advance His kingdom one orphan at a time!!

Foster Care

Since we have started this adoption, my eyes have been opened to all types of adoption.  My heart has been moved not only for international adoption, but for domestic, foster care and any child in need of a home regardless of ethnicity or location.

In March, Trey and I began on the path to become foster parents. To date, we have completed all of our paperwork, fingerprints, background checks, fire & dhec inspections, and 14 hours of class training. All that said and done, we're pretty close to being licensed. One final step before we can receive a placement is having a home study done through DSS. We have our appointment this Friday to have that completed and I'm thinking we'll have our first foster placement at some point this summer. :)
We have always heard there is a great need for good foster parents, but never thought we'd be one of them.  It's amazing how God has worked in our lives since we stepped out in faith to adopt.  We know fostering will be trying, but I know the blessings from it will be great. If we can offer a small slice of what a true family looks like to a child less fortunate, that is enough for me.  No matter how long they are with us, we will do everything we can to help them adjust and be as loved and comforted as possible.  It will be a perfect opportunity to plant seeds of hope into the lives of our youth.  Our aspiration is to eventually adopt from DSS, but for now we are content waiting for our African princess to come home and helping children in need of a stable home along the way.

I know there aren't too many resources out there for perspective foster parents, so if you've ever thought of fostering before, I'd be happy to answer any questions I can. If I don't have the answer, I'll try to point you to someone who can. :) I am praying that more ordinary people like myself will respond to the call to become a foster or adoptive parent. All it takes is just a phone call to get the wheels rolling.

Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me... -Mark 9:37

We Said Yes

I have not blogged in a while because, well, the last three months have been hard. I have been doubting our adoption plan and pretty much pouting my way through it. (And I mean huge puckered lip about to break down to a tantrum like a five year old quite frequently type of pouting) Of course my dear husband and my best friend have really been the only ones to see this side of me…bless their souls. Adoption is hard. In the times of waiting with no movement in any direction it’s easy to doubt that this is what the Lord has called us to. I’m embarrassed to share this with you, but I know all too well some others going through the process need to know they’re not alone and their feelings are completely validated.

But alas, my pouting and doubting has come to an end. This past Friday as I was enjoying some pool time with a sweet new friend and our kids, I had a missed call from our agency, Lifeline. I looked at Jenni with I’m sure what seemed to be a stunned face and told her I had a missed call from the agency. I had no idea what they wanted but for some reason I was a little excited. We packed up from the pool and on my drive home I called our worker.

When I got ahold of her, she said I know you and Trey were hoping to adopt two children, but would you be interested in hearing about just one at this time? WHAT?! I couldn’t exactly wrap my mind around it. “So, is this a referral call?!” She said yes, it could be. :) WOW, I couldn’t believe it. I told her I’d try to get in touch with Trey and see if he’d be open to hearing about a potential referral. (Keep in mind, of all the weekends we are to get a referral it happened on the one where Trey was away at a men’s retreat with our church…in the middle of nowhere…with little to no cell service. Getting him on the phone would be a miracle.) I quickly dialed his number and prayed while it was ringing…please pick up, please pick up, Lord if this is meant to be make him pick up. Three rings in he said hello!! I was ecstatic. I was trying to remain calm as I told him we have a referral to listen to and wanted to know if he wanted to hear it or not. His reply was “Of course I want to hear it. You didn’t even have to ask me that.”

So I instructed him to stay by the phone and we’d conference him. On our conference call we were told about a 3 year old little girl. Oh my, Oh my, a little girl. As soon as I heard her age and gender it was all I could do not to sob tears of joy. The day was finally here when we were hearing about our potential child, our potential daughter. We listened in to all the details that they had for us and asked lots of questions. Shortly after our phone conversation we received the email with her picture. She is perfect. From the picture, she looks tall and very skinny. Possibly older than three, but that would be ok because our age range was up to five. She has big brown eyes, short curly hair and little pink dress that pops next to her beautiful African skin.

I told our case worker we’d take the weekend to pray about the situation and let them know our final answer on Monday. This past weekend has been a whirlwind of prayer, discussions and divine wisdom and peace from above. There have been several ways in which the Lord led us to the decision we made. I’ll share a few..
When I opened up the email of her information I saw her name started with a K, which goes perfectly with Kipton. I thought that may be a good sign. Shortly after, I spoke with a friend about our referral and she was so sweet and said she was praying for God to show us the answer through an obvious sign, maybe even her name would be a sign and speak to us. I just about died! I said actually her name is significant to us! Then on Saturday that same friend (who is also adopting through Lifeline) was having a fundraising yard sale and one of her customers had the same name we intend to call K. How wild is that?

Another way the Lord led us to our decision was by the timing of our referral. I mentioned we were doubting our path, but I didn’t mention how much so. We were having such big doubts in ourselves that we had even talked about putting Congo on hold. I even told our worker this a few weeks ago and she had emailed for an update last week. My reply was that we were still holding on to the last bit of hope we had for Congo. I could have easily closed the door then, but something was prompting me…just hold on a little longer. Three days later a batch of referrals came into our agency. Isn’t God’s timing funny?

And finally the ultimate decision maker was Gods word. I prayed and prayed for the Lord to speak to me through his word. When I opened my Bible, the first word I saw was daughter.

After much prayer and study, I believe God has given me his wisdom in this situation. His wisdom is pure and holy. His wisdom is considerate, submissive and impartial. His wisdom is full of mercy. It is with his wisdom that WE SAID YES to a little girl in Africa.