Lately, I have been trying to be more intentional when I pray. I don't want unprayed prayers to be the reason for a hold up in our adoption. I want to to live completely by this verse... "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done" -Philippians 4:6. As a woman, my brain is wired to be constantly thinking. I always have something on my mind and often times have a hard time falling asleep at night because my mind just wont quiet down. (Ladies, you know what I'm talking about!) I've resolved to turn my thoughts into a constant streaming prayer. It's been a work in progress but I think it has helped me to be less worrisome.
Today my 3 prayers for my personal benefit were this..
1. Lord, please let us receive an update from our agency
2. Lord, let there be something good in our mailbox
3. Lord, send someone to buy our truck
I prayed these over and over again beginning the moment I woke up and let me just tell you God heard my little prayers. :) Our biometric fingerprint appointment came in the mail today from immigration! This is the only thing between us and our immigration approval. (YAY). Then not 10 minutes after I checked the mail my phone rang...it was Lifeline! Our coordinator was calling to give me an update...yay God! She told me that our $3400 payment was processed and we are officially on the Congo wait list!!!! (BIG YAY) I am so over joyed to finally be at this stage in the process. We are so close to seeing the precious faces of the children God has planned for us. Oh my word, I can not even express my sheer excitement right now. :)
So what does this mean now? Our coordinator told me there are 8 other families on the list waiting to be matched, so technically we are #9. That does not mean that we will have to wait for all 8 families to be matched before we get our referral. We are basically all in a big pot and once our Congo facilitator has children that fall within each families specifications they are matched. Some people on the list are wanting infants and some are hoping to adopt older kids. Some want boys and some girls, some families one child others are waiting for 2 or more. There are differences within each family. We are hoping that we will have our referral within 2-3 months, but we all know that could change drastically. I'm just so excited to finally be on the list!
And no, the 3rd prayer has not been answered yet. That doesn't mean it wont happen though, right?! I mean it's only 3:30pm. ;) Either way today has been wonderful. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers, even though they may seem so insignificant to others, you care for the slightest concerns of my heart. You are amazing and unchanging!
January 31, 2012
January 19, 2012
Sacrifice
Sacrifice (noun) : To give up something you love for something you love more.
This adoption has brought with it lots of sacrifices. We have been stretched and refined on what things are important to us in life and we’ve come to the raw conclusion that we have to make major sacrifices in order to complete this journey God has laid upon our hearts.
Ways which we have sacrificed:
1. I no longer get my nails done & go quite a few months in between hair cuts. This may not seem like a huge sacrifice, but for anyone who knows me knows I’ve had my nails done and hair highlighted on a regular basis since I was 12! Now I’ve opted for no nails and no coloring of my hair, just a trim here and there. (Sorry if I look a bit atrocious)
2. Trey cuts his own hair! :) And still manages to look overly handsome.
3. We eat out (a lot) less. And if we do eat out it is super cheap and normally with a gift card or coupon.
4. We drive less to save money on gas.
5. Our closets are not filled with the latest trends. Honestly the majority of our clothes are way past their prime.
6. The furbabies of the family are eating cheaper food (sorry guys) and their grooming appointments have been pretty much nonexistent. We no longer have poodles, but just mounds of fluff. ;)
7. Our home is normally quite cool, due to us trying to save our electric bill.
8. Christmas was very slim and we haven’t bought gifts for each others birthdays or anniversaries. (Don’t freak…yes, Kipton will get a few gifts for his birthday)
9. We have sold every valuable and invaluable possession we owned.
10. We are currently selling our 2nd vehicle.
This adoption has brought with it lots of sacrifices. We have been stretched and refined on what things are important to us in life and we’ve come to the raw conclusion that we have to make major sacrifices in order to complete this journey God has laid upon our hearts.
Ways which we have sacrificed:
1. I no longer get my nails done & go quite a few months in between hair cuts. This may not seem like a huge sacrifice, but for anyone who knows me knows I’ve had my nails done and hair highlighted on a regular basis since I was 12! Now I’ve opted for no nails and no coloring of my hair, just a trim here and there. (Sorry if I look a bit atrocious)
2. Trey cuts his own hair! :) And still manages to look overly handsome.
3. We eat out (a lot) less. And if we do eat out it is super cheap and normally with a gift card or coupon.
4. We drive less to save money on gas.
5. Our closets are not filled with the latest trends. Honestly the majority of our clothes are way past their prime.
6. The furbabies of the family are eating cheaper food (sorry guys) and their grooming appointments have been pretty much nonexistent. We no longer have poodles, but just mounds of fluff. ;)
7. Our home is normally quite cool, due to us trying to save our electric bill.
8. Christmas was very slim and we haven’t bought gifts for each others birthdays or anniversaries. (Don’t freak…yes, Kipton will get a few gifts for his birthday)
9. We have sold every valuable and invaluable possession we owned.
10. We are currently selling our 2nd vehicle.
When we talk about sacrifice with other Americans, they are baffled as to why we would give up some of our luxuries just to help that one (or two) orphan(s) in Africa. They just can't fathom.
This is my response to that....
We are sacrificing our dining out and grocery budget, but we are not sacrificing food for an entire day just so our children can have one hot meal.
We will sacrifice our health and beauty routines, but there are families losing their children and children loosing parents because they don't have access adequate health care.
We are sacrificing our home temperature a few degrees and our 2nd car, but we are not sacrificing the hours it takes to walk to the nearest village with safe drinking water.
We are sacrificing our trendy clothing when there are people in Congo who are living daily without any clothes at all.
Our sacrifices may seem extreme to some Americans, but to us we would gladly sacrifice it all for the children of Congo.
If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.
Matthew 10:39
January 06, 2012
Ready to be Waiting
I am not very good at waiting. I've realized this and prepared myself that waiting for our referrals would be hard and then once we get our referrals waiting to unite our family was going to be harder. I was prepared to be waiting.
Waiting was the exact spot I thought we were in. We have our completed home study, I've renewed my passport, we're diligently completing our education, 2 agency fees have been paid and we filed for approval with immigration. Everything on my list was checked off. I was just waiting to hear that our paperwork was sent to DRC over the Christmas holiday. Finally we'd be done with the initial process and waiting to see pictures of our babe with big brown eyes and smooth mocha skin.
I was ready to wait.
Unfortunately, it seems as though the waiting won't happen as quick as I'd assumed. There seems to be a little (or not so little) fee I overlooked when I planned out our fundraising tactics. We now are required to pay a fee for our lawyer in Congo before we can officially make the waitlist. The fee covers his time and expertise in finding children who would be a good fit in our family. Once we are matched this fee enables him to start the paperwork process and request court dates, medical exams, etc. The fee($3400) is definitely necessary, just a little unplanned for.
While celebrating on New Years, I was sure this would be the year our family would grow. Kade being home in 2012 was looking like a definite possibility. Now with this little speed bump I'm not so sure. Would you please consider donating to our adoption so that we will officially be waiting for Kade?? The quicker we get the fee paid the better chance we have of making 2012 our adoption year!
Ways to help raise $3400 quickly...
1) Donate (even if it's just $5)
2) Share our blog on your FB, twitter, email and other social networking sites
3) Pray, pray, pray!
I still dream of us traveling to Congo before the year is up. Help us make it a reality!
Waiting was the exact spot I thought we were in. We have our completed home study, I've renewed my passport, we're diligently completing our education, 2 agency fees have been paid and we filed for approval with immigration. Everything on my list was checked off. I was just waiting to hear that our paperwork was sent to DRC over the Christmas holiday. Finally we'd be done with the initial process and waiting to see pictures of our babe with big brown eyes and smooth mocha skin.
I was ready to wait.
Unfortunately, it seems as though the waiting won't happen as quick as I'd assumed. There seems to be a little (or not so little) fee I overlooked when I planned out our fundraising tactics. We now are required to pay a fee for our lawyer in Congo before we can officially make the waitlist. The fee covers his time and expertise in finding children who would be a good fit in our family. Once we are matched this fee enables him to start the paperwork process and request court dates, medical exams, etc. The fee($3400) is definitely necessary, just a little unplanned for.
While celebrating on New Years, I was sure this would be the year our family would grow. Kade being home in 2012 was looking like a definite possibility. Now with this little speed bump I'm not so sure. Would you please consider donating to our adoption so that we will officially be waiting for Kade?? The quicker we get the fee paid the better chance we have of making 2012 our adoption year!
Ways to help raise $3400 quickly...
1) Donate (even if it's just $5)
2) Share our blog on your FB, twitter, email and other social networking sites
3) Pray, pray, pray!
I still dream of us traveling to Congo before the year is up. Help us make it a reality!
December 31, 2011
Our Year in Pictures
A glimpse of our year through snapshots...
Kipton's Baby Shower
Family Trip to Disney World
(while 8 1/2 months pregnant!)
Maternity Pictures
Waiting for Kipton
Best Moment Ever
Proud Mama
Our 1st Family Pictures
Perfection
So little he could fit in the sink
Easter 2011
Pure Sugar
Mothers Day 2011
&
Kipton's Dedication
3 Months
On the way to a Kenny Chesney concert!
Trey surprised me and we had our first night out of town.
Summer Weekends At The Lake
Hanging Out With Dad At The New Business
Trying New Things
6 Months
It's Official
Watch Out Ladies
Halloween 2011
Family Night Out
My Step-Sister Got Hitched
Weekly Girl Time With My BFF
Celebrating My 23rd Birthday
Christmas Tree Farm
Merry Christmas 2011
My Little Elf On The Beach
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called “Opportunity” and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. -Edith L. Pierce
Happy 2012 Everyone!!
December 28, 2011
If you would have told me...
If you would have told me this time last year that in 2011 Trey would be laid off from his job when I was eight months pregnant, we'd have an amazing baby boy in February, God would provide Trey another job opportunity after months of no work, I'd become a stay at home mom and that by the end of the year we'd be knee deep in an international adoption...I would have politely laughed in your face and told you that you were crazy (except for the fact that we'd have an amazing baby boy...that was a given). But in fact, that is exactly how our 2011 went and I have to say it has by far been the best year of my life.
When Trey was laid off from his great paying, "stable", long term job in January, I could only picture 2011 as the worst year ever. I was 8 months pregnant with our first child and we had no source of income, that was a very scary thought for a hormonal, budget loving, prego like myself. We began the year searching for the Lord and looking to Him for guidance and provision. He was with us every step of the way, giving us hope when we needed it and providing sources of income when we had none. I can honestly look back and say I am so glad this is how our year started because from the very beginning we looked to the Lord for direction more than we ever have in our lives. It also gave us perspective on what things were important to us. We quickly realized that our possesions were not the key to life. Our lives are about much more than acquiring earthly treasures and we began turning our efforts to storing up heavenly treasures. Even now, we live more frugally than we ever have and are not constantly looking for the next best thing to spend our money on. I'm thankful now for this life lesson the Lord delicately disciplined me on.
In February, we did in fact have an amazing baby boy! Kipton Henley Phillips was born on the 16th of February at 4:38 in the afternoon. He weighed a tiny, but perfect, 5lbs 12oz and was 18 inches long. That was the most joyous day of my life, along with my wedding day. I was one of the "lucky" ones and had an extremely pleasant and easy labor. I pushed for all of 13 minutes and there was the sweetest baby boy ever. Pink all over with a head full of brown hair. There are no words to describe to sheer joy and perfection I felt when they placed him in my arms. Since that day, Kipton has blessed our lives more than we could have imagined.
Looking back I am so thankful Trey didn't have to go back to a job after Kipton was born. It was such a blessing to have him home with me the first few months. Those are times that I will always remember. The learning process for new parents is such a pivitol point and I'm happy he was with me through every dirty diaper, every nursing session, midnight waking, and every priceless, adorable moment Kipton had.
In April, we recieved an amazing opportunity to take over my grandfathers business. He wanted to retire and wanted the business to stay in the family. Trey had always talked of owning his own company so the pitch was perfect! It's so crazy how God has everything planned out so perfectly. Trey stepped in and officially took over in June. I have never been more proud of him. His leadership skills and work ethic are impeccable. God provided me with one good hubby! About that same time, Trey agreed that me staying home with Kipton was better than going back to work...YAY! I have seriously always dreamed of being able to stay home with my children, but when the lay off happened in January I quickly tossed that dream aside. The 3 years prior I was a nanny to adorable twin boys. It was a wonderful job and the family was such an inspiration. I learned many many parenting skills that I easily implement into my own family. As much as I loved their family, I love being home with mine more. :)
Late in the summer Trey and I started talking about having kiddo #2. After lots of talking, we tossed around the idea of adoption. We'd always said we wanted to adopt but I don't think either of us ever believed it would really be reality. The more we talked and prayed we were convinced our next child would join us by way of adoption. We had no idea where to start, but after much research and prayer the Lord has led us to where we are now. He has already blown us away with His direction, support, and unending faithfulness. In just 3 months we have raised $7,800!! That is amazing!! A fellow adoptive parent said it like this - what moves the heart of God will move the heart of people. That statement rings true because without God moving others hearts for the orphan and for our family this adoption would not be possible. Thank you!
2011 has been a huge turning point for my personal relationship with Jesus Christ, my marriage and my family. I look forward to 2012 and what the big man has in store for us. Currently, I'm especially looking forward to receiving our referrals! ;)
I hope your 2011 was just as lovely and I wish you a very blessed 2012!!
When Trey was laid off from his great paying, "stable", long term job in January, I could only picture 2011 as the worst year ever. I was 8 months pregnant with our first child and we had no source of income, that was a very scary thought for a hormonal, budget loving, prego like myself. We began the year searching for the Lord and looking to Him for guidance and provision. He was with us every step of the way, giving us hope when we needed it and providing sources of income when we had none. I can honestly look back and say I am so glad this is how our year started because from the very beginning we looked to the Lord for direction more than we ever have in our lives. It also gave us perspective on what things were important to us. We quickly realized that our possesions were not the key to life. Our lives are about much more than acquiring earthly treasures and we began turning our efforts to storing up heavenly treasures. Even now, we live more frugally than we ever have and are not constantly looking for the next best thing to spend our money on. I'm thankful now for this life lesson the Lord delicately disciplined me on.
In February, we did in fact have an amazing baby boy! Kipton Henley Phillips was born on the 16th of February at 4:38 in the afternoon. He weighed a tiny, but perfect, 5lbs 12oz and was 18 inches long. That was the most joyous day of my life, along with my wedding day. I was one of the "lucky" ones and had an extremely pleasant and easy labor. I pushed for all of 13 minutes and there was the sweetest baby boy ever. Pink all over with a head full of brown hair. There are no words to describe to sheer joy and perfection I felt when they placed him in my arms. Since that day, Kipton has blessed our lives more than we could have imagined.
Looking back I am so thankful Trey didn't have to go back to a job after Kipton was born. It was such a blessing to have him home with me the first few months. Those are times that I will always remember. The learning process for new parents is such a pivitol point and I'm happy he was with me through every dirty diaper, every nursing session, midnight waking, and every priceless, adorable moment Kipton had.
In April, we recieved an amazing opportunity to take over my grandfathers business. He wanted to retire and wanted the business to stay in the family. Trey had always talked of owning his own company so the pitch was perfect! It's so crazy how God has everything planned out so perfectly. Trey stepped in and officially took over in June. I have never been more proud of him. His leadership skills and work ethic are impeccable. God provided me with one good hubby! About that same time, Trey agreed that me staying home with Kipton was better than going back to work...YAY! I have seriously always dreamed of being able to stay home with my children, but when the lay off happened in January I quickly tossed that dream aside. The 3 years prior I was a nanny to adorable twin boys. It was a wonderful job and the family was such an inspiration. I learned many many parenting skills that I easily implement into my own family. As much as I loved their family, I love being home with mine more. :)
Late in the summer Trey and I started talking about having kiddo #2. After lots of talking, we tossed around the idea of adoption. We'd always said we wanted to adopt but I don't think either of us ever believed it would really be reality. The more we talked and prayed we were convinced our next child would join us by way of adoption. We had no idea where to start, but after much research and prayer the Lord has led us to where we are now. He has already blown us away with His direction, support, and unending faithfulness. In just 3 months we have raised $7,800!! That is amazing!! A fellow adoptive parent said it like this - what moves the heart of God will move the heart of people. That statement rings true because without God moving others hearts for the orphan and for our family this adoption would not be possible. Thank you!
2011 has been a huge turning point for my personal relationship with Jesus Christ, my marriage and my family. I look forward to 2012 and what the big man has in store for us. Currently, I'm especially looking forward to receiving our referrals! ;)
I hope your 2011 was just as lovely and I wish you a very blessed 2012!!
December 22, 2011
The Switch
If you've noticed, I've been a bit MIA recently when it comes to blogging. Well, it's all for good reason. I promise.
Let me fill you in...
On December 9th we received our HS draft. I printed it out, laid Kipton down for a nap, got comfy on my zebra print chaise lounge and began the editing process. When I was on page 13 my phone rang - it was our agency, Lifeline. I answered the phone excited to tell our case worker, Lesley, that we had gotten our draft. To my surprise, she didn't seem very enthused. Instead she told me she had some bad news...OH NO, I was thinking. I was in a panic racking my brain for what could've gone wrong. Lesley then proceeded to tell me that Ethiopia had just issued a new guideline for adoptive parents...THEY ARE NOW REQUIRING ADOPTIVE PARENTS BE A MINIMUM OF 25. My heart sank. Every hope and expectation I had into the adoption changed.
After a few minutes of me getting my thoughts together, I then asked what are our options now. Obviously we could wait two years and then start the process all over again, losing our fees we had paid, our home study, everything. Or we could switch countries. Lesley informed me that they have a pilot program that opened recently in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Congo's minimum age is 21, so we would definitely qualify. Another thing that's different about Congo is that you receive your referral first then send your dossier. So Trey and I had a lot to think and pray about.
We were so confused. It seemed as though my heart was set on Ethiopia. Was it Gods plan for us to wait two years? If we waited, we lost the money He had provided thus far and we would risk the country closing or wait times increasing dramatically. We agreed, God had called us to pursue adoption now, not two years from now. So, that led us to Congo. We researched all weekend about the orphans there, the country history, cultural beliefs, everything we could find out we read. I was still feeling hesitant because all this time I pictured Kade being in Ethiopia. I wrestled back and forth with God, until one moment. It was like He was speaking to me plain as day. He said, "Ashton, won't you love any child I give you regardless of country?". I was stunned. He put everything in perspective for me. I no longer felt my ties only to the children of Ethiopia, but to the children in Congo and Uganda and Sudan and every other nation under God. I felt a complete peace with this new direction our adoption was taking.
On Monday, December 12th, Trey and I made the official decision to adopt from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC)!!!!!! I am confident in our choice and I know the Lord continues to have His hand in our adoption.
Here are some happenings since we officially made the switch.
1. We edited our HS for the Congo.
2. We had a dog wash & yard sale...raised $958.
2. We had our orientation for the Congo program.
3. We received our APPROVED home study in the mail!
4. We filed our I600A with immigration! (This is the form we file to get immigration approval from USCIS to bring an orphan into the country.)
5. We applied for a grant through Perpetual Change.
Since our HS is complete and our I600A is filed, our agency will be sending our information to the facilitator in Congo. Once he receives that, he will then begin matching a child with our family. If all goes well, we should have our referrals within the next 2 months! So excited to see Kade's face!!!
Thanks for reading up on all the changes that have been taking place with our family. The blog will be getting a makeover soon too because it's obviously not Faith.Hope.Ethiopia.Love anymore. :) I hope you'll follow along on our new journey to Congo!!
Let me fill you in...
On December 9th we received our HS draft. I printed it out, laid Kipton down for a nap, got comfy on my zebra print chaise lounge and began the editing process. When I was on page 13 my phone rang - it was our agency, Lifeline. I answered the phone excited to tell our case worker, Lesley, that we had gotten our draft. To my surprise, she didn't seem very enthused. Instead she told me she had some bad news...OH NO, I was thinking. I was in a panic racking my brain for what could've gone wrong. Lesley then proceeded to tell me that Ethiopia had just issued a new guideline for adoptive parents...THEY ARE NOW REQUIRING ADOPTIVE PARENTS BE A MINIMUM OF 25. My heart sank. Every hope and expectation I had into the adoption changed.
After a few minutes of me getting my thoughts together, I then asked what are our options now. Obviously we could wait two years and then start the process all over again, losing our fees we had paid, our home study, everything. Or we could switch countries. Lesley informed me that they have a pilot program that opened recently in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Congo's minimum age is 21, so we would definitely qualify. Another thing that's different about Congo is that you receive your referral first then send your dossier. So Trey and I had a lot to think and pray about.
We were so confused. It seemed as though my heart was set on Ethiopia. Was it Gods plan for us to wait two years? If we waited, we lost the money He had provided thus far and we would risk the country closing or wait times increasing dramatically. We agreed, God had called us to pursue adoption now, not two years from now. So, that led us to Congo. We researched all weekend about the orphans there, the country history, cultural beliefs, everything we could find out we read. I was still feeling hesitant because all this time I pictured Kade being in Ethiopia. I wrestled back and forth with God, until one moment. It was like He was speaking to me plain as day. He said, "Ashton, won't you love any child I give you regardless of country?". I was stunned. He put everything in perspective for me. I no longer felt my ties only to the children of Ethiopia, but to the children in Congo and Uganda and Sudan and every other nation under God. I felt a complete peace with this new direction our adoption was taking.
On Monday, December 12th, Trey and I made the official decision to adopt from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC)!!!!!! I am confident in our choice and I know the Lord continues to have His hand in our adoption.
Here are some happenings since we officially made the switch.
1. We edited our HS for the Congo.
2. We had a dog wash & yard sale...raised $958.
2. We had our orientation for the Congo program.
3. We received our APPROVED home study in the mail!
4. We filed our I600A with immigration! (This is the form we file to get immigration approval from USCIS to bring an orphan into the country.)
5. We applied for a grant through Perpetual Change.
Since our HS is complete and our I600A is filed, our agency will be sending our information to the facilitator in Congo. Once he receives that, he will then begin matching a child with our family. If all goes well, we should have our referrals within the next 2 months! So excited to see Kade's face!!!
Thanks for reading up on all the changes that have been taking place with our family. The blog will be getting a makeover soon too because it's obviously not Faith.Hope.Ethiopia.Love anymore. :) I hope you'll follow along on our new journey to Congo!!
December 07, 2011
An Ache in My Soul
Today is a difficult day. I'm not sure why, it started out the same as any other day, but today there seems to be a deeper ache in my soul. An aching and longing to hold my son in Africa just as I am holding Kipton now. My heart was not prepared for this sort of turmoil. To know that my second son is living half a world away without my hugs, encouragement and love is truly breaking my heart.
This adoption is so different than my pregnany with Kipton. He and I had a special bond from the moment he was conceived. I was comforted knowing that my body was keeping him alive and growing. He was warm and comfortable in my womb. He could be lulled to sleep by the thuds of my heartbeat and the muffled voices of his mom and dad. He was secure. We even had a timeline as to when we could expect to welcome him into our family. We prepared during those months of pregnancy to make sure he had everything he would need and more when he was born. It was predictable, comfortable and natural.
Kade's entrance is far from predictable and that doesn't make for a very comforted mama. I know that he is probably already born to a woman who won't be able to keep him. This woman will love my son without a doubt for he is her son too, but she'll have to make a great sacrafice to give him a chance at a better life. For whatever reason, be it severe poverty, sickness, AIDS, she will not be the one he calls mama. I will, but I do not know when that day will be. I do not know if he has the comforts of knowing the love of family or the luxury of a warm bed and full belly. I do not know if he will immediately form a special bond with me or if my voice will lull him to sleep, like Kipton. I do not know if he will find comfort in me. However, I do know that my heart wants to fly to Africa and hold every little boy who might could be mine and try to offer comfort and hope. I do know that no matter how long this process may seem with no end in sight, God sees the end. He knows the exact month, day, hour and second when Trey and I will lay eyes on Kade and embrace him as our son. He knows every single circumstance that is leading up to Kade's relinquishment from his birth mom and adoption into our family. He knows the longing of my heart and He is the only one who I can find comfort in.
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
2 Corinthians 1:4
LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them.
Psalm 10:17
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.
Deuteronomy 31:8
Dear Kade,
Mommy, Daddy and Kipton think about you every day. We are constantly praying for your health, comfort, safety and quick arrival in your new family. It will be a joyous day when you are finally a Phillips. We love you more than you can imagine.
xoxo
This adoption is so different than my pregnany with Kipton. He and I had a special bond from the moment he was conceived. I was comforted knowing that my body was keeping him alive and growing. He was warm and comfortable in my womb. He could be lulled to sleep by the thuds of my heartbeat and the muffled voices of his mom and dad. He was secure. We even had a timeline as to when we could expect to welcome him into our family. We prepared during those months of pregnancy to make sure he had everything he would need and more when he was born. It was predictable, comfortable and natural.
Kade's entrance is far from predictable and that doesn't make for a very comforted mama. I know that he is probably already born to a woman who won't be able to keep him. This woman will love my son without a doubt for he is her son too, but she'll have to make a great sacrafice to give him a chance at a better life. For whatever reason, be it severe poverty, sickness, AIDS, she will not be the one he calls mama. I will, but I do not know when that day will be. I do not know if he has the comforts of knowing the love of family or the luxury of a warm bed and full belly. I do not know if he will immediately form a special bond with me or if my voice will lull him to sleep, like Kipton. I do not know if he will find comfort in me. However, I do know that my heart wants to fly to Africa and hold every little boy who might could be mine and try to offer comfort and hope. I do know that no matter how long this process may seem with no end in sight, God sees the end. He knows the exact month, day, hour and second when Trey and I will lay eyes on Kade and embrace him as our son. He knows every single circumstance that is leading up to Kade's relinquishment from his birth mom and adoption into our family. He knows the longing of my heart and He is the only one who I can find comfort in.
He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
2 Corinthians 1:4
LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them.
Psalm 10:17
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.
Deuteronomy 31:8
Dear Kade,
Mommy, Daddy and Kipton think about you every day. We are constantly praying for your health, comfort, safety and quick arrival in your new family. It will be a joyous day when you are finally a Phillips. We love you more than you can imagine.
xoxo
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