February 12, 2013

Filled to be Emptied Again

"Filled to be emptied again"...I have adopted this quote as my mantra of motherhood, and being a wife and well I guess just life in general. Several times throughout my average week I hear words from friends, family and sometimes random strangers like, "Wow you have your hands full!", "Are they all yours?", "Don't you think you should slow down a bit?", "Don't spread yourself too thin.", "You are like supermom!", "You want more kids?!", "How do you have time for yourself?" and I could go on and on. I can only imagine what is truly going through these peoples minds...pretty sure a lot of the time they think I am crazy. :) (And sometimes that statement proves to be true.)

No matter the comments, good or bad, I know I was called to be a mother. Not just any mother, but a mom to many. When becoming a mom priorities shift. Your everday life is no longer about #1, but about your children. Motherhood has grown me so much in how to be selfless instead of self seeking. Being that our little family of 3 expanded to a family of 5 in a matter of 4 short months, I had to quickly readjust my views on the day to day expectations of being a mom. How could I care for 3 children as well as I cared for one? There is only one me and my engery levels and patience are not always what they should be. I was terrified before Kade came about how our family was going to adjust. Let me just say, it has been a beautiful transition. Quickly after he was born I was completely drained by the end of the day, sometimes by lunch. Day after day this really wore on me until one afternoon God put the lyrics of a sweet, sweet song into my mind.....

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
Perspective. That is all I needed to know that what I was called to and what I was doing was pleasing to Him. This song brought me such joy in knowing that through me being emptied I was doing something right. I was giving everything I could to love these kids and my husband and sow the seeds God entrusted to me. Each day when I am feeling drained I look to Him and he fills me again and again. I know my days are meaningful because I am living out His plan for my life and I hope I am emptied every. single. day. until I am resting in His merciful arms.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -
Psalm 73:26