Give1Save1 Week: The Domestic Side of Adoption

A lot of you have been asking how our domestic adoption is going, so I’m here to fill you in.


It couldn’t be going any better. We have really befriended our sons birth mother and hold our relationship with her highly. We have had the priveledge to go with her to all her doctors appointments and participate in typical pregnancy related events, such as maternity shopping and having lunch while talking about cramps and nauseousness. It isn’t something I can really put into words. It’s very surreal to have all this contact with her because it’s so completely opposite from our Congolese adoption where we are really relying on a few precious pictures and an email that our daughter is ok. With domestic adoption we’re able to correspond with the doctors and nurses taking care of our sons birth mom and know exactly what she’s feeling at every moment. These times we’re spending together will be priceless in the future when Kade begins to ask about her.

Right now we are about 2 months away from Kade’s due date. His nursery is all set up, minus a few little things. Our plan when setting up his nursery was to make it a room that Kipton could move into once Cora was close to coming home. The room was originally a burnt orange and instead of repainting, we just picked a theme that would compliment the room colors. For the bedding I picked Zaire. I love all the different patterns and textures, it gives the room a really rich feel. Plus, I think it’s not too babyish and will be something the boys can grow with.

We bought a brown and ivory chevron run to go over the tile that is in the room. It’s so soft and will be a great spot for the boys to play with their toys.

We also bought a 7ft tall giraffe wall decal for the room. Our foster son thinks it’s the coolest thing ever.

I think the boys will love sharing a room, especially once they’re a little older. We’ve also started bringing down all the baby gear from the attic, the swing, boppy, toys, clothes, car seat, and bassinet. I’m trying to mentally prepare for the newborn stage again, but it’s a little difficult when I’m not actually experiencing the pregnancy. However, once he’s here and we’re getting minimal sleep I’m sure we’ll jump back into the hang of things. It will also be interesting to see how Kipton adjusts to being a big brother. I just can’t wait!

Here’s a picture of our little guy, Kade. This was from his ultrasound last week. Isn’t he a cutie?! I’m so looking forward to kissing his little brown cheeks!

Just a reminder....it's our Give1Save1 week!! Donate your dollar to get in on the action! Our total is climbing closer and closer to what we need to bring Kade and Cora home...won't you be a part of our featured week?! :)

Give1Save1 Week: Intro to Our Family

Hello all!! Some of you are new to our blog and are visiting us from the Give1Save1 Africa blog…welcome! We are so honored to be this weeks featured family. Let me give you the run down on our family and our adoptions…

 We are Trey and Ashton Phillips. We met in high school and were married just 5 months after graduation. We did the typical “American dream” thing, pursuing reputable jobs, the white picket fence, pretty cars, starting a little family, just trying to keep up with the Jones’. Then God rocked our world. He opened our eyes to the poor, the needy, the broken…the orphan. Once our eyes were opened there was no going back, we knew what we had an obligation to do. We had to begin living out our faith through works, not just words. For us, this came in the form of adoption.

Our adoption story has been a little crazy, but nothing short of miraculous. We began our adoption journey in Ethiopia then due to some doors closing God led us to the Democratic Republic of Congo. We were broken for the desperation of the people there. The 2nd poorest nation in the world, rampant with disease and corruption. It was in this destitute country that we knew we had a child. In May 2012, we were matched with a three year old orphan girl, Cora. The first pictures we saw of her only brought tears because you could see the sheer horror and sadness in her eyes. We knew she would be our daughter and soon she would be an orphan no more. Soon Cora will know the love of family and not feel the pangs of hunger and disease, soon Cora will be home.

When Cora comes home in the beginning of 2013, she will have two little brothers to love all over her. Our biological son, Kipton (18 months), and our soon to be adopted son, Kade (due this fall). Kade’s adoption came as a surprise. We did not intend on pursuing two concurrent adoptions. In fact, even the thought of that seemed ludicris, but we all know God’s plans are always better than we can imagine. When things were slow with our Congo adoption, we started entertaining the thought of starting a domestic adoption. We had the mindset that whatever happened first would be the path we’d take. Two months after we turned in our domestic portfolio we were matched with Cora. We immedeatly let our domestic agency know and told them to pull our portfolio. Despite closing the domestic door, God still worked his hand in the situation and had us presented to Kade’s birth mom. She chose us to raise her son because of the Christian values we lived by. I truly believe that as Christians if we are pro-life that we need to be willing to stand in the gap for the women who choose life for their babies. In this situation there was no way we could say no. With a simple yes and a phone chat with V, we were on our way to becoming parents to a newborn and a three year old in Congo all at the same time. Oh how great is our God?

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. -Galatians 6:9

Thank you so much for coming over to learn more about our family! I hope you’ll stick around and continue with us on our journey. Don’t forget to visit the Give1Save1  site and come back to donate your dollar. Every dollar counts toward bringing Cora and Kade home!

Also check out our adoption video... https://vimeo.com/43259092

And We're Back...

I have been a bit out of the bloggy loop latlely because being a mom to two little ones is much more time consuming than just one. (Yes, I said two…we have a foster son!) On top of my newly busy schedule, our computers wireless capabilities decided to bite the dust, so being connected to the internet has been a bit of a challenge.
I do have a couple of amazingly awesome tidbits to share…
1. We have obtained our first required piece of paper in Congo…our Consent To Adopt was issued on July 19th! YAY! Now we can move forward with the first judgement and 30 day wait period. Baby steps.
2. Our baby boy we’re adopting via domestic adoption is officially in the third trimester! Not much longer at all.
3. This is a biggie!! We have been selected to be the featured family on Give1Save1 Africa for the week of August 6th!! Super exciting!
What is Give1Save1 you ask? Well, let me tell you…

Give1Save1 was started on the premise of helping adopting families raise funds for their adoptions. The thought was not everyone has a lot of money to give away, but everyone can spare just one dollar. The week we will be featured, they will have a little write up about our family, pictures of us and an awesome video of our adoption story that our friends at Dreampop Media helped us create. Our hope is that everyone who views our video will donate $1 (or more) to help raise money to bring our kiddos home. Those dollars will add up. I mean if 15,000 people viewed our video and all gave just one dollar we would be fully funded!! What an amazing feeling that would be, knowing that your dollar went that far!
We’re also going to need your assistance in helping us get the video viral. We hope you’ll partner with us to share the video through facebook, twitter, youtube, your blog, your email lists, any way you can think of. We would appreciate your help more than you even know!
I’ll keep you updated as to any other progress we make and be looking out for more posts as we get closer to our Give1Save1 dates.

Ramblings

My mind is pretty much mush lately due to the complexities of being in the process of an international adoption and a domestic adoption at the same time. Plus, being a mom to a 16 month old boy and 4 dogs who do not have an off switch and attempting to be the best wife possible. All the while starting Jen Hatmaker’s book 7, which is making me increasingly cranky because we’re on month 1 and I LOVE food!!! So, please bear with me through this sporadic post.

-First off, I mentioned in a previous post that directors from our agency were traveling to DRC to sign an agreement with the country officials. They were also taking a care package to our little girl. Well, yesterday I was informed they were able to hand carry our dossier to Congo!! For any adoption newbie’s, the dossier is our whole life in papers. The stack is pretty much a mile high and had to be notarized, legalized, signed, stamped, etc. It’s a big deal!! Now they will translate our dossier into French (Congo’s official language) and it will await our court date.

-Speaking of court date…I have a big prayer. And I mean BIG! I’m praying that we pass court in Congo before our baby boy is born via domestic adoption. I’m praying this for a few reasons. 1) If we don’t pass court before he’s born, we’ll have to update our international home study. This comes with a hefty price tag of $1,350. (Yikes!) And would probably delay Cora coming home. 2) If we pass court before he’s born, the likelihood of Cora being home by Christmas is pretty good!! I would love to be a complete family in 2012. 3) We’ll still be eligible for the adoption tax credit if she comes home this year. If not, we lose any chance of getting the credit to help offset some of our expenses we’ve already paid out because the credit expires December 31, 2012. Please let this be your prayer as well. Pray that we pass court in Congo before the birth of our son.

-I mentioned we have a chance of missing the tax credit window. Even if we don’t miss it, we still have a long way to go financially before we can bring these kiddos home. We need at least $15,000 more to complete both adoptions. I have applied for a few grants recently and am anxiously awaiting the decisions. Please pray that there will be grants awarded in our favor. Pray for funds to be provided in miraculous ways. We have worked so hard thus far and the Lord has been faithful. I pray for his continued support and provisions.

-We are officially a licensed SC foster home! Our worked called today to tell me she received our license and was mailing it to us.

Our house will be full with pitter patters of little feet soon, so for now I’m going sit back and enjoy the quietness of being a family of three. It’s the calm before the storm, but I’m sure it will be the best storm of our lives.

God Threw Us A Curve Ball

Let me start from the very beginning. We started this adoption with all hopes to adopt a little boy from Ethiopia, as you all know that changed when Ethiopia abruptly changed their age guidelines. You can read about that here.

After the boot from Ethiopia we switched to our agencies extremely new Congo program. We loved our agency and the thought of a pilot program did not scare us in the least, until we really got into it. Once we were a part of the program things seemed to be at a complete standstill. There had been no referrals in months and the number of families in the program continued to grow. We began to worry, not necessarily questioning our call to adoption, but just wondering if Congo would come through.

In February, we attended a local adoption fair with friends of ours who were adopting domestically. There were lots of agencies, lawyers, and adoption support groups at the fair. It was a wonderful event and opened our eyes and hearts for all types of adoption…international, domestic and foster care. We began to pray about which direction was right for our family. We were so heavily invested in Congo and our hearts truly were in Africa, but did God have another plan for our family?

At the end of February, we decided to pursue a domestic adoption as well. Our thinking was that we would open up the doors to being matched with a local birthmom and still stay on the waiting list for a referral from Congo. Whichever match happened first is the one we would pursue. We compiled our family portfolio and dropped it off to the domestic agency with high hopes of being picked quickly. We didn’t hear of a single interest in 2 ½ months. As you probably know, on May 4th we got the call about a 3 year old little girl in Congo whose referral we accepted and are now in the process of preparing for court in Congo. Our adoption finally had a direction, a positive one, one that we were perfectly content pursuing. The Lord had been faithful and indeed led us to Congo.

Shortly after we accepted our daughter’s referral, I emailed our local domestic agency to let them know of our referral status and to pull our portfolio from being shown. I told her we were going to go full force with Congo and if it was God’s will we may come back to domestic later, much later. Whoops, let me back up a minute. I forgot to tell you I spoke with a lawyer the morning of May 4th (our Congo referral day) about putting our domestic portfolio with her office in hopes of getting more showings with birth moms. That conversation quickly went to the back of my mind because just hours later we got the call about our daughter.

Anyhow, on May 21st we got a call from the domestic agency. She told us that she knew we had a referral from Congo, but would like to show us to a mom who had just had a baby yesterday! What in the world?! I was in shock because to me domestic was already closed, but after talking with Trey and our international worker we decided to be shown. The mom didn’t pick us and that was a-ok. Back to just going with Congo…or not. Two days later I got another call. This time it was from the lawyer I’d spoken with the day of our referral. She had a mom in the hospital preparing to give birth and she wanted to make an adoption plan. She asked if we could send her some pictures and info because she wanted us to be considered. Oh. My. Word. What in the world was happening?! We hadn’t heard a thing in months and now we had two potential situations in one week. It was at that moment I felt like God was slapping me in the face and saying “Hello!!! Keep all the doors that I called you to open!”. We were shown to that mom as well, but were not picked.

In the next few days Trey and I decided to go with what we thought the Lord was yelling to us and keep our domestic possibilities open. We had a window of time that a match could happen or it would interfere with our Congolese adoption and we didn’t want that to be interrupted so we waited to see what would happen, if anything.

Last Friday, June 8th, exactly one month after we officially accepted the referral of our Congolese daughter, we got a call from the domestic lawyer. WE HAD BEEN MATCHED. A local mom pregnant with a bi-racial baby boy had chosen us! We had so many emotions running through us; joy, excitement, shock, thankfulness, and a little bit of “oh my goodness, we’ll have 3 kids in the next 8 months!”

So, I am overjoyed to announce that our family of 3 is expecting a baby boy Fall 2012 and a little girl Spring 2013!! From a family of 3 to 5 in less than a year! Oh, how His ways are so much greater than mine!!

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” -Isaiah 55:8-9

Thanks for coming along this journey with us as we expand our family.  I'll keep you updated on the progress of both adoptions as things move forward.  All glory to Him forever and ever.

Month 1: Our 1st Care Package

Our first care package and officially one month of having our referral...how exciting! Theres no big news to share other than we're being patient while our Power of Attorney and Consent to Adopt are being legalized by the DRC embassy in Washington and our lawyer in Congo is working on getting paperwork filed with the municipality to start or court process. So we wait patiently knowing that God has every detail under His control.

However, we did get some exciting news when we were told the two international directors from Lifeline would be traveling to Congo in June and had agreed to make room for a few care packages in their luggage. (YAY!!) They gave us one stipulation, the "package" had to be in a gallon sized ziploc bag!! How in the world was I going to fit everything I wanted to give our little girl in a ziploc bag?! It was tough and the bag was about to bust!!

 We sent her:

-2 dresses

-Headbands, Bows & Barrets

-Hello Kitty Chapstick

-Bracelets & Necklaces

-Stickers

-Soap

-Toothbrushes
-Toothpaste

-Mini lotions

-A Thirty-One Bag to carry her goodies in

-A Picture Clutch with pictures of us
-Pink Glow Seahorse

(Kipton has a blue one and doesn’t sleep without it. I wanted to get her a small baby doll, but when I saw the pink seahorse all I could picture was her holding it at night while it lit up the dark orphanage and played sweet music that would lull her to sleep. Bless. My. Soul. There were some tears in Target.)

                                     

 

There are about 30 children at her orphanage.  Most of the items I sent will become communal and thats A-ok with me...hopefully the boys dont have aversions to bows and costume jewelry. ;) I also wrote a note to the orphanage director (in French!) thanking her for caring for our little girl until we can bring her home.

I'm hoping they'll be able to get some more pictures and possibly even a video while they're visiting. Keep Lifeline in your prayers as these directors travel to extend Lifeline's care of the fatherless. One month down only 7-9 more to go....hopefully less!!!

Blogger Perks

When I started this blog, it was mainly to keep our family and friends updated on our adoption. I never anticipated that I would be so greatly blessed through sharing our simple story of faith for the fatherless.

Through blogging, I have met so many wonderful women who are also on the same adoption road. I am able to find encouragement when I’m down, have a group ready to cheer when we’ve gotten to a certain mile marker, have prayer warriors just one email away and be able to talk all things adoption 24/7 without being a complete bore. Adoptive mama’s are of a completely different caliber.

Today I thought I’d share a little love to my fellow Lifeline families. There is not an agency out there that is so committed to defending the fatherless as Lifeline. I have had my doubts throughout this process, but I know 150% that we are working with one of the most reputable, Christ centered agencies out there. The Lord is moving mountains through the staff and families of Lifeline. I am honored to be a part of such a wonderful group where the child comes first.


Lindsy was one of my first Lifeline family discoveries. She received her referral of her son the same day we did. She also has an adorable etsy shop!

Lori is currently waiting on a referral for up to 2 kids aged 3-7. She is a faith-filled mama and always has a positive word to say!

Leslie started an awesome adoption ministry through her church in AL and is also a foster parent to a six month old baby boy!

Erin is super sweet and is no newbie to adoption. Her patience in waiting for the children God has for her family is endearing and empowering. Check out her adoption t-shitrts!

Whitney is a momma of 3 and will be adding on 2 HIV+ kiddos from Congo.

Amanda is adopting a sibling set of 3 from an orphanage in Goma. She started a non-profit called Mercy’s Mission to support the children in Goma who weren’t adopted.

Jenni and I met by chance when I bought her triple stroller(!) off craigslist. She is adopting through Lifeline’s China program. I could go on and on all day about what an amazing woman, wife and mother she is! I know that our meeting was orchestrated by the Big Man and I look forward to growing in friendship with her and her faith filled family.


Ladies - I am so blessed to be able to share along your journey's. Thanks for all the kind words and constant support through this crazy roller coaster called adoption. We can advance His kingdom one orphan at a time!!